The LDS play “Saturday’s Warrior” seems to have as many opponents as it does fans. “That’s so fake!” detractors will say, “We didn’t promise one person in the premortal existance that we’d find them on earth and get married!” Then for good measure, they’ll toss in a prophetic paraphrase: “Any two righteous people can marry and make it to the celestial kingdom.”

Fine. Whatever. Most of these same people will still turn right around and demonstrate their faith in love in first sight by only pursuing relationships illuminated by the titillating sparks of infatuation. If you “ain’t got it” right from the get-go, they’ll write you off forever.

“Is that wrong?” you ask. Not entirely. Who would give up an opportunity that feels so wonderful and seems so promising? The point is that this shouldn’t be the only approach you take in your search for the one and only.

“But what else is there?” The romantics object. “How can you find love unless you’re in love?!” and thereby express the most dangerous fallacy inherent in this topic.

Is infatuation love? No. Does infatuation last forever? No. People fall out of this sort of ‘love’ as easily as they fell into it. What would you call that – Exfatuation? And what happens when exfatuation begins? If you think you have it made because your heart does a few gymnastics, you’re in for a rather rude awakening.

What will you do when you’re tired, frustrated, and your sweetie pie can’t take away all your troubles with one tender glance? What will you do when the two of you disagree and have to work out the tough issues? What will you do on those nights when your ‘happily-ever-after’ feels more like ‘stuck for good’? Will you begin to wonder if you made a mistake all those years ago? Will you wonder whether you should have waited for someone “better” who wouldn’t have “worn out” like this? Unrealistic expectations are one of the biggest sources of frustration and disappointment in romance. If infatuation was love and love really made the world go ’round, we’d be in for a rather jerky ride.

Another serious danger of believing that infatuation = love is that in your rush to find your one true love, you might fail to seek and develop close friendships. Be honest, now, and ask yourself how many times you’ve ditched your best friends for some hottie you just met. Would you do it again? In a heartbeat? Just be careful where that heartbeat leads you and what it leads you away from. Lasting friendships are one of life’s most rewarding and often-overlooked sources of happiness. Romances come and go, so when someone asks you “Whatcha got worth living for?” I hope you’ll be able to list a few tried and true friends. (Try putting this little twist on a famous movie line: “Fwendship…has bwought us togethew today.”)

Friendship is one of the greatest sources of something else, too.

I have three recurring dreams. In the first, I’ve just moved to France. In the second, I’m on a mission again in China. The newest one is where I’m getting married. Last night’s dream went like this: I’m hanging out with my best g-friend (girl, friend; as opposed to girlfriend) and it occurs to us that we’re a perfect match and should get married. We’re suddenly engaged and have never even kissed.

This sort of thing happens from time to time in real life, too. Personally, I think it would be a pretty great way to go.

It happened to my brother, in fact. One night he had a long talk with one of his best g-friends about “why it would never work out between us.” Ironically, that long talk disproved the main reasons they had for believing that! Two weeks later they were dating, and within a month they were engaged.

See what I mean? If you’re only on the lookout for love at first sight, you may miss out on some of your greatest opportunities. Maybe you have a best friend who you can talk with for hours, who you can play with and enjoy your talents, interests and hobbies, and who always makes you feel better about yourself and the world. Should you rule them out as a potential date or mate just because your knees don’t turn to jelly when you look into their eyes? Because your heart doesn’t do a little leap when you see their name on the caller id? Because birds don’t suddenly appear and stars don’t fall down from the sky?

I’m not saying you should propose marriage out of the blue. I’m certainly not saying you should ever try to make yourself fall in love. I’m not even saying that infatuation shouldn’t play a major role in your love life decisions. I’m only suggesting you leave the door open to the possibility that love could someday blossom from a solid friendship. I’m saying it would be wise to nurture friendships with the most compatibile people you can find. I’m saying that you ought to consider yourself the luckiest person on earth if you can manage to marry someone you were best friends with in the first place.

After all, some dreams do come true.